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Verga Alas no, but my husband and 'Sicilian worth?

Convinced of this Emma had so far prevented herself to love Teo physically decisasi for lack of strength, not to continue waiting in that ungrateful company now that the fate (ol'enorme brush) concedesse the magical meeting soon. Suspended between wanting el'accadere Emma is preparing. She believes that Teo is an experienced man, a person rarely does not rise to the occasion, but mainly wants to make him happy. His readings are designed to prevent a bad figure, but to give her man the greatest satisfaction possible, even bliss. If the experience can not guarantee any results, perhaps the theory will help, we hope Emma and giggling like a teenager discovering sex for the first time, rehearses in the mirror.

If Teo saw her in such Mannerist attempts, of course I find it less attractive, but only because more is impossible that the doctor does not think of her. He is even think obvious, but has never known a woman like Emma. It is so different from him, but its strangeness does not frighten him, fascinates him, sometimes overwhelms him. Having to talk about Emma has the feeling of having to change the meaning of words, when describing as confused and would like to suggest that it is the fault of the world that does not give the signals it needs, calling it unrealistic, try to explain that if she had not met it would be impossible to conceive, so much outside the box which is used to.

While Emma curious and excited flips through the pages of his books, Teo decided that the next day will ask you to spend the weekend at his home in the mountains. The fate of this time has decided to stand by their side.

"It may seem stupid, I already know, but I told my parents that I went to see Rachel"

"I guess I'll have them do not even ask. So not only did you lie, but you did it for no reason. Admit it: they have called specifically to tell him? "

" Of course, if then I had tried them today or tomorrow? They would have alarmed not found at home, know that when I go out almost never work, "

" I've done for this? Not to worry about them? What a devoted daughter! Do you think I thought I did not want to start with a weight on his shoulders, I wanted to be sure that it can not be discovered '

"You'd be willing to know?"

"I can not wait!"

"Really?"

"Emma, \u200b\u200bI would have no difficulty in having to meet yours, because the little that I have told me they look like nice people, do not feel like a sinner who asks to be redeemed. I am in love with you, not your Registrar. Who knows, maybe then, knowing them, they learn something more of you "

" No, no, wait a minute, repeat! Repeat, please, again! I can not give heed to these silly ears rabbit, may have misunderstood, how can I do to hear it? I expected a reprimand and was there to make trallallerolà and he said something important, perhaps, he said a wonderful thing, but we must be certain, Emma? Emma? Emma! "

" Emma, \u200b\u200bwhat is it? "

Emma looks at him without speaking, have little confidence in their ears, but not their eyes, perhaps they can obtain confirmation that the voice is not able to ask. Teo now know enough to read and interpret that look.

"I love you, Emma"

not crying, not faint, do not tremble, do not sweat, Emma is still. These are just a few seconds, but seem to Teo hours. Then he decided to gamble, the more intrepid of an avid player, raises the stakes up to a thousand thoughts and allows his voice to take, without any censorship

"There are days when I do not have the strength to leave the house. I could not even go buy bread, not only because I do not know which to choose, but because I would not answer when the clerk asks, "Whose turn is it?". I would stay there, still, in the hope that an honest person to tell me.

There are times that I keep my blinds drawn, but also a faint light is too blinding, I can not see my body because I get clumsy, unseemly even sick. I feel inadequate in the world, I feel I do not belong, to be an illegitimate daughter.

It is as if I were to live elsewhere, but I did not know where and if I knew I could not get there. I would not go because I have a few but very good reasons that tie me to this world. One of these, the most exceptional and I feel he deserves even less than the others, it's you. I have loved you from what you gave me that kiss on the forehead. I love your confidence, your self, your experience and your profession. I loved the way you look at me and as I stroked his head. I could not do without your voice engaging and reassuring. I could not give up your scent that drives me, seduces me and relaxes me. Close to you I like myself more because I make better, more serene, more balanced, more beautiful.

For me it's so easy to love you, Teo, but I was convinced that would be too difficult for you to love me. "

" It is not, but even if he had continued to do so. Mine is not a decision, is something different, something better. "

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Verga Alas no, but my husband and 'Sicilian worth?

CHAPTER IV

Fate is on their side

This morning Emma is planning a visit to the library. These are days that you prepare before you leave the event and was dressed as if for a formal occasion. On the bed there are at least ten and then discarded clothes worn in and out of the office yesterday and bought a pair of black low-heeled decollettes, it believes that they did to his case. Today will not attempt to rejuvenate itself with a casual dress, wandering among the shelves of the library, wants to look like a lady, an elegant and distinguished lady. While engaging hard to realize their projects to Emma always eludes some details, in this case it is the shoes. Failing never worn before, brushed goatskin has not yet acceded to the shape of his foot, and then, in an attempt to do so, and continues to creak ' complain. " Not to mention the heels tapping on the floor at every step of ancient marble, echoing disproportionately because of the high ceilings. Emma tries to hide the embarrassment, aided by quell'inconsueta and bizarre outfits, which allows it to play a part. Adjusting the scarf that is put on his head, approaches the department of interest and click with feline fashion show "The ars amateur" Ovid's pretending to be interested in the Latin classics. Soon after more and more to do with circumspect get onto the corridors of Eastern culture. Choose four titles of the most representative and slips at the counter. Here again the attitude that, objectively, the way has lost its refined lady turning into a clumsy thief. Satisfied with her booty went home, determined to raise an art that is not even certain to possess.

Emma has had sporadic romance " Unfortunately, you can count on the fingers of one hand, and is not necessary even all five ." His was a choice, but it is not fair. He wants to be one of those worldly women who know the tricks of seduction and the pleasures of the flesh, but his excessive distrust, fear of injury, to suffer or just dirty, they always stopped. Emma rarely comes close to sex not because they give little importance, but because he considers one of the most valuable assets. Live their sexuality without malice, with unparalleled purity, which she confuses with impacciataggine and inexperience. How to protect a treasure trove for malicious hackers or dangerous predators, Emma has developed an increasingly difficult to contact.

The majority of its fans had to settle for a single appointment, finished with a frosty handshake. Emma knows how to discourage even the most hardened lover. In everlasting love waiting for anyone who has not discarded immediately submit all the necessary requirements. He lost many opportunities from this blinded his frantic search, knowing that not only she is able to pretend to deal with difficult situations and that behind the facade of an anonymous building citizen can also hide a tropical garden. Emma has the presumption to understand people with just a blink of an eye, but this superpower does not belong, so to intuitions alternates, all too often, summary judgments.

Emma has the intelligence to admit and correct their mistakes, but this is not the time, is too busy to read and study.

Ovid is too complicated and gave it up after a few lines. Teo does not want to disappoint, the small number of men who have achieved thanks to the pleasure she can not reassure her and then analyzes the images with an indescribable greed. Emma is convinced that her newly arrived leakages under the door of the house will eventually irritate Teo. In fact he showed no sign of impatience, he never broached the subject with neither explicitly nor insinuating overtones, in fact not doing any pressure, but the Ridolfi is convinced of the contrary and then decided to face their insecurities. The fact that Emma has decided that now is the time to stop running away does not mean who wants to schedule a date, place, or a particular situation. Emma believes that things happen the right way only if she will abstain to want to address. " We, human beings, we are small, imperceptible dots of a huge fresco, while remaining within do not even have a chance to see, we do not know if it represents something of soil or abstract, do not know how to extend and especially not perceive any changes. We do not know if there is a huge brush who paints all the time and change the colors or if it is immutable tremendously! In the course of life, we hope that everything goes the right way, you can pray in expectation, but our certainties come with the incident. We have only a poor control over ourselves. We can feed ourselves or abstain from sleeping for some time, but we can not prevent ourselves to suffer or to love. I think the essence of man is not doing and acting, but in waiting. "

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Verga Alas no, but my husband and 'Sicilian worth?

That night it is impossible to sleep, his mind continues to play each phrase, every glance, every movement. Only now, curled up in bed, she noticed that when he told her of his life, was a part of him he was listening, now I remember everything: Teo studied medicine, worked for four years in a large hospital, not has always lived in that city, has traveled extensively, loves to read not only of science, like history books do not often see their parents and there is not even very well, has a dog named Pimple and hates cats, lives alone in an apartment on the top floor of a building in the center. "Brava Emma, \u200b\u200bthen you were careful? Not only that, you have also made him many questions, because I highly doubt that he has having a monologue. How nice, how much information you have gathered about him! Rachel now own you can not complain. It was yes or no the most beautiful night of your life? No, do not answer now, and you may revise it Friday already having to think again. My dear mischievous little monkey, this time you really behaved in a way, apart from some small defaiance, but no matter he is very understanding. Probably believe that your is a game, I ask you to do everything possible to continue to pretend that you think your madness is the only way not to be missed! .

Teo does not think that Emma is crazy, he finds it unusual and funny, but above sensual and charming, almost calamitous. Driving home, he shakes his head and smiles, has a bit 'of appetite, when he pulled out of the restaurant had not even finished eating the first. It is amazing I did it seriously and begins to think that the restlessness of Emma is contagious.

What, however, is certain is the irrepressible enthusiasm of Emma. His voice can not mask a lot of happiness so that her sister, rushed to the house, determined to discover the secret.

"Luckily, Emma, \u200b\u200bwas now. What kind of doctor did you say that? "

"He's a neurosurgeon"

"How old?"

"Thirty two"

"Where do you work?"

"Beatrice, that's enough, you were not coming to see my work?"

"on capriccietto Oh, tell me more! When you do we know? "

" Do not get strange ideas come, we agreed! Do not say anything to Mom and Dad, not a word, you hear me? "

" But you, do not worry. I'm so happy, now no longer hope, seemed doomed to eternal loneliness. Never that I could find one that had all the right cards, and this is low and this is fat, that's stupid, that one is immature. But Teo you describe this as the perfect '

"It is'

" Well, well, well. Will be leaving this evening? "

" Well, work is not difficult, my colleagues are all very kind to me, apart from Mrs. D'Ambrose is a bit 'off-putting, then four hours go by quickly, even if the news today is that the director asked me to work full time, you're saying ?

"Phew, I figured, I better go. Mark is waiting for me and the baby in here, starts pawing. I'll call you soon, try to stay calm "

" Hello sister, respect, I beg you, say hello to everyone. "

When accompanied by Beatrice Emma at the door can not help but smile: "No one could ever deny that my sister is lacking a sense of priorities, which has a clear and well-defined scale of values. Beatrice I may have found a papabile bridegroom is willing to talk for hours! Beatrice I need your advice in the workplace: the door slides, without any regrets. "

Beatrice is the younger sister of Emma, \u200b\u200bbut it is much more mature than her, or at least so it appears and is seen. She married very young with a boy who had loved and longed for since " were still in diapers." The two sisters are very different, they have opposite tastes and interests, but can not do without each other. They fight and argue all the time, when they were children often came to blows, the mother had accepted the idea that it was a way as any to know each other, to grow, to find their own space.

Beatrice is expecting a baby, already in its fifth week, the news had gone around the whole family, the first to know, however, was Emma. Had been informed before the father of the unborn. Beatrice had to seek the approval of his sister, like all other decisions he made during his life. Usually Emma started the attack, tried to dismantle the beliefs of his sister, to lodge in its certainties and doubts if he could not offered her his sincere and unwavering support. After passing the test of her elder sister Beatrice acquired new strength, greater security and for this reason, before an event so important in their lives as the possibility of becoming a mother, she was determined to face the test. This time, however, things had gone differently: Beatrice had not even finished giving the news to Emma that she had thrown her arms around his neck. The two sisters had been long embraced, weeping for joy, with Beatrice, who was trying to understand what Emma said between sobs.

" Surely you will be offended. It is not easy for Beatrice understand my reluctance, she always says everything with such detail. I do not know why I behave in this way, I must admit that I too would very annoying if you, all of a sudden, we were to do the mysterious. Yet I am convinced that unless I talk about this story and will last longer. I do my best because it continues to be so intimate, so private and so wonderful and magical and wonderful and overwhelming and passionate e. .. my love will call soon, right? What time is it? .

Emma circles for the room, he never danced so much as in the last month. Teo not only makes it lightweight, but does it twirl. Ever since he met Emma has become very similar to chicory, flowering becomes white and fluffy and soft balls Teo, like a curious child, collected the strangest of the flowers and never tires of soffiagli to push above the pistils in fly as high as possible. As long as possible.

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Verga Alas no, but my husband and 'Sicilian worth?

Teo calls on the bill in a hurry, gets up, it helps to wear the shawl just touching it, the belt from behind, walking supports her chin on her head, smelling, can not break away and can not allow her to go away.

Emma feels his gaze upon himself, even before seeing him, she loves that feeling: it is pervasive. He no longer even hungry, he passed in the very moment when he realized that the desire was mutual, he was just better than you keep your composure. He does not know where it is and the little matter, he is kissing her shoulder and held him close.

Tomorrow will tell Rachel that he was right, she loves Teo, even if you know recently, although he does not know where he lives or where he studied, he loves because he can make it vibrate, and if his body is used, a victim of its continuous tremors, his soul had never known this feeling.

"I must go."

"I must accept this or your joints are just a temporary condition?".

"Do not accept anything that you do not like me. You can change everything with great ease "

" Really? Now it is, however, to figure out how. Now how can I convince you? I have the impression that only I could tie you keep you from running away from me! "

" Do not run away from you, but by me. I will not listen to that voice accusatory judging my choices. Sa me feel nothing. I can not stand when he does that, but I do know that when we can because after all I do is right for you. Experience has taught me that it is better to go along with that when they are not able to deal with it. "

"Who? Ridolfi, are you possessed by a demon? "

" It's not an easy thing to explain. Unfortunately I'm not the only one to decide, there are other voices that want to make their views and, although I do not want, I can not help from hearing. Do you understand? I can not plug your ears not to hear their comments, because they come from within and not from outside "

" How many? "

" Sometimes it's just me and another, sometimes we are at least three. In addition it also happens that I can not tell what the Emma authentic, everything is mixed, confused. Those are the worst times, and as if I was in complete darkness and've lost every point of reference, panic takes hold of me, I'm paralyzed by the idea of \u200b\u200bno longer finding the light. It's terrible. "

"I believe, you're pale. You going? "

" No, not now, now everything is quiet, for my parameters of course! A couple you upside down, is not it? I'm fine, I like being with you, I feel very comfortable, only peace is a feature that is not mine, but does not mean it is not relaxed, in fact, I even close to you to be happy "

"I would be more accustomed to certain subjects to be able to help somehow, but I propose that from now on as a lamp for the terrible moments "

" Forgive me. Gotta get away. I talk too much and most times I say nonsense, I also nonsense, for example, now limit myself to think I should not express what I said instead, plus a loud voice. It's like with you I lose my brakes on, but it is not good. I had no right to drag you into this vortex, without end, if I understand you do not want to see me again, I do not take them, in short, how can I get you wrong? "

" I can at least get a goodnight kiss before returning home? I do not care if you who'll give it to me or the other, the one that has such a hurry to leave, I'd rather get it from her, maybe I can convince her. What? It gives me hope for him or just have some possibility of an accomplice? "

" Do not mock me '

"Come."

One last kiss, small and sweet, Teo can not have more because Emma has already slipped away. He is happy, maybe even Teo loves her, could not be explained otherwise much patient endurance.